


XOXO

by LilShitWayne



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Gossip Girl References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:55:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilShitWayne/pseuds/LilShitWayne
Summary: Jack wakes up in the middle of the night to a very pressing matter: Randall and Gabrielle's fight over Gossip Girl.
Relationships: Randall Carpio/Gabrielle Dupres
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> This was wrote after a very long night of insomnia as I was about to crash. Safe to say, I'm responsible for all mistakes here.

Jack wasn’t sure what had woken him up in the first place. He didn’t have to piss, he wasn’t thirsty, there were no noises- scratch that. Downstairs there was a crash and then a mumbled “Fuck”. 

With a resigned sigh he got out of the bed and down the hallway. No lights were up in the living room, but he could see Randall moving around regardless. 

“What are you doing here?” He whispered and Randall jumped slightly, before shrugging. 

“Missed my home’s liquor.” 

“Gabrielle kicked you out?” 

“Doesn’t she every weekend?” Randall said bitterly and let out a groan when Jack hit the light switch and turned on the lights. He was still in his sweatpants and a white shirt, short sleeved for a change. Instead of shoes he was wearing fluffy slip-ons. 

“What happened now?”

Randall shrugged once more, roaming through Hamish’s bar and then his face lit up with glee as he pulled a bottle of tequila. He unhooked the cap and walked to the couch, collapsing on it with a big sigh. 

Jack grimaced, it was difficult to get Randall annoyed, but Gabrielle, of course, was nothing if not masterful at that art. 

“So?” 

“Blair Waldorf is a fucking bitch.” 

“Alright, buddy... Did you drink before coming here?” Jack mumbled, starting to reconsider his friend’s sobriety status. Randall threw him a death glare and took a big gulp of tequila. 

“I just- I don’t see what’s cool about her? She’s annoying and a bitch. She’s mean to everybody! What did Jenny even do to deserve being treated like that, uh? And Dan? They’re mildly poor, that’s it?” 

“I- I don’t know, Randall, I’ve only ever watched like two episodes of Gossip Girl” Jack said, but his friend wasn’t really listening to him. He kept talking.

“And what about Serena? She’s lovely! Sure, she’s a little stupid, but she’s trying, but nooo- Miss stuck up bitch has to be insecure and ditch her time and time again.”

“Are you- Are you still talking about Blair or?” 

Randall stopped talking and opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to start a sentence, before giving up and bringing the bottle back to his lips once more. He chugged about half of it without breathing and then pulled back, grimacing, “All I’m saying is that if Blair wasn’t so wrapped up in her own ass she’d see there are people who love and care for her and none of the show’s drama would’ve happened.” 

“Okay... Yeah, of course, you’re right” Jack rolled his eyes, patting Randall’s arm “So you guys were watching Gossip Girl?” 

A little drunk now, Randall simply nodded “I complained about Blair and she got that look on her face.” 

“That look” Jack mocked, trying to get the bottle back from Randall. His friend shoved him away with a hand, using his height to his advantage. 

“Yeah, that look. When she thinks I’m being stupid and she kinda widens her eyes and presses her lips together at the same time. It’s a little endearing.” 

“If you say so” Jack scoffed, slapping Randall’s hand away from his face “Give me the bottle okay?” 

“Then she got all defensive and it escalated and she said she ships fucking Blair and Nate. Can you believe? Nate! Nate doesn’t fucking deserve Blair, that’s such a stupid opinion to have” He kept ranting and turned to look at Jack, “Right?” 

“Is Nate the one who looks like Zac Efron?” 

“Uhum” Randall nodded, “I mean, they’re just boring. Blair doesn’t really want him, she’s just comfortable with the idea of being with some pretty boy who’ll never argue with her about anything. Besides- The whole show happens because he cheated on her!” 

“Yeah, that’s horrible” Jack relented, finally prying away the bottle from Randall and cringing when he saw it was almost empty now. That was way too much alcohol gone in way too little time. 

“Is that what she thinks a relationship should be?” Randall kept going “I’m not fucking Nate.” 

“Randall, she’s not Blair either” Jack rolled eyes and put the bottle back on the bar, before turning to the couch “You’re just tired and cranky, that’s a very stupid fight to have. Even for you two.” 

“The worst part is that I don’t even- I don’t even get the girl in this metaphor”, Randall scoffed, sprawling on the couch and pouting, glaring at the ceiling, “I’m fucking Dan. I hate Dan.”

“You’re not... Dan” Jack scoffed, sitting on the coffee table and patting his friend’s leg amicably, “You’re just stupid and drunk.” 

“Thanks” Randall said sarcastically, “I don’t wanna be the enemies to friends to lovers dude who doesn’t get the girl in the end.” 

“I think you’re overthinking this allegory. So is your girlfriend- _Did_ Gabrielle kick you out?” Jack asked, suddenly unsure. He had always been under the impression that Randall was a really cool headed guy, while Gabrielle was as emotionally stable as boat in the middle of a storm... Maybe he had been mistaken and there was more to it than that. Maybe Randall was just as crazy as her. 

“She said _if you really hate Nair then you should go_ , so I did”, Randall explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jack groaned and stood up, suddenly deadly envious of Lilith and Hamish, who were away with their respective girlfriends instead of witnessing this shit show. 

“Okay, I’m going to get you some water and then you’re going to bed. And maybe apologize to her tomorrow, I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s 3 AM.” 

“I’m not saying sorry, she’s the one who likes Nate and Blair, not me” He crossed his arms, petulantly and then pouted, grumbling under his breath “I’m not Dan.”

“Of course not-”

“If anything, you’re Dan” Randall exclaimed, sitting up quickly and swaying a little, “Right?! You’re the broke dude who falls for the blonde rich girl who’s part of a world you hate!” 

“Don’t talk about Alyssa” Jack glared at him and immediately his friend backed down, nodding and deflating. 

“Right. Sorry. Yeah, that was messed up.” 

“Yes. Go to sleep. Bed or couch?”

“I’m comfy here.” 

“Fine” Jack shrugged, no longer in a charitable mood. He walked to the kitchen and filled up a glass with water, grabbing some Tylenol pills on his way back and setting both items on the coffee table “Here you go.” 

“Thanks” Randall mumbled, with a kicked puppy face “I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s fine. Just apologize to your girlfriend and maybe stop watching teen dramas. Neither of you are mature enough for it. Stick to reality shows like other couples”, Jack opened a small smile and walked to the stairs. He trusted his werewolf instincts to warn him if Randall decided to choke on his puke in the middle of the night. 

“Goodnight!” Randall yelled after him, but Jack could still hear him huffing under his breath, ranting about not being Dan. He rolled his eyes and fell back on the bed, sleep taking him under quickly. 

Next time he woke up, there was talking downstairs and he heard Gabrielle’s giggle followed by “In your fucking dreams that you’re Chuck Bass.” 

Jack groaned and rolled on the bed, pressing a pillow to his head. Sometimes life was simply unfair. 

“HAMISH’S NOT CHUCK!”

Really, really unfair, Jack thought, plotting their murder. 


End file.
